This Kiss, this Kiss

So, over at Afterellen.com people are a-voting the best lesbian kiss in entertainment. Flipping through all the pix and amazingly wonderful characters that have also formed some of my most memorable tv and movie moments (I am not that much of a comic-fan), I not only voted my favorites I also thought about the kisses that I missed there, or the kisses that were especially important to me.

Yeah, I know, not really lesbian that one. But it actually was the thing that made me watch the show because it was the first thing I saw and I didn’t know that it was not a lesbian kiss. It ran hot and cold up and down my spine, and I mainly watched the next episode because I hoped it would be explained to me – both my reaction to a seemingly lesbian kiss and the kiss itself and whether it really was between two women… well, what can I say, I was 18 and a babe in the woods. But this kiss changed my life. It did not make me a lesbian, I also did not discover that I was one but it made me watch Xena: Warrior Princess. If nothing else, it made a fan-grrrl out of me. And I am eternally grateful for that.

I would say that the first lesbian kiss I remember seeing – it could be the first I saw but with all the stuff I saw on tv it’s rather unlikely that it really was – was the one between Kate Winslet and Melanie Lynskey in Heavenly Creatures. The film fascinated me on an obsessive level (not because I saw girls kissing, more because I saw girls killing), I became a heavenly creature (I did not kill anyone but to this day I am convinced there is a fourth dimension… I hope it’s where I go when I die – to spent eternity with Kate Winslet, mostly). The lesbianism in it is disturbing on more than one level (one of these levels is Freudian), it is distructive and clichéed and if you tell me you hate the movie because of it – that’s your prerogative. Still, it was important to me – these two girls made sense to me, their love, their friendship, yes, their madness, too. Let’s face it, sometimes it is maddening to be different, and I certainly knew how that felt.

Tara and Willow. It is strange because I must have actually missed their first kiss. I do know that I did not see every episode of season 5 – because it bored me to pieces. Since I have just watched the whole show (including season 7 which I have not watched before, so now at least I can rightfully jump onto the I-hate-Kennedy-bandwagon), I actually discovered that most of the things I thought happened in season 5 actually happened in season 4 – I must have completely zoned out when 5 was on. I remembered Tara getting brain-slurped by Glory and Buffy jumping to her death, that’s it. But it also held that marvellously disturbing kissing scene when Willow prepares for Joyce’s funeral. Very sensual if your girlfriend sobs into your face, snot and tears running everywhere, very classy. Okay, this was not one of the important kisses – as I said, I didn’t even remember it – but rewatching it, it makes sense: OMG, Willow and Tara-shippers want them to kiss! What are we gonna do?! I know… let them make out during a marvellously traumatic storyline… when someone died or something. We can sell it as a comfort scene, nobody will be the wiser – and thus it was done… RMB when creators of shows had to come up with rediculous storylines like that just to put in a lesbian kiss – crazypants.

But, of course, then there was that massive making-out/having sex scene just before they killed Tara off… putting it like this is not really giving this scene enough credit. But it was wonderfully acted out by both actresses (Alyson Hannigan and Amber Benson). It was important – and they kinda killed the importance along with Tara, implicating that evil lesbians must die and all that crap.

But let’s face it, if it wasn’t for these two and Xena and Gabrielle, Emily and Maya (and Emily and Paige and Emily and Somara) would probably not have happened – not in the way we can see them nowadays.

And kissing is so important, too. I mean, who doesn’t remember last Xmas when twitter was all aglow with lesbian rage when some writer of Glee actually insisted that Brittana had kissed… oh yeah, that kiss! What?! No, they never did. And they didn’t and now they have. I guess, you could say that the Glee-powers handled this badly. They told us these two had sex, these two were casual and then they gave them a lesbian story line and it all ended up being about THE KISS… The ultimate scene was well-handled, refusing to give THE KISS a big, dramatic moment with violins playing in the background. It made fun of the whole discussion surrounding it and then gave us the little peck that was the introduction to the Valentine’s kissing concert that was mostly well-acted by Naya Rivera and Heather Morris.

A kiss is still a kiss – but this one blew every other kiss right out of the water. And I guess it will win since Glee seems to take all the awards these days. Is it my winner? No. I am way beyond my teenage years and it would probably have rocked my world if I had seen it when I was a teenager. I liked it but my favorites are these:

Because these days, it’s all about them… and even months after All My Children ended I am still rewatching Minx-vids.

This movie always depresses me – I cannot fathom how real it feels to me and how lonely I feel when it is over… but I keep rewatching it because it also makes me incredibly, stupidly happy. Just believing there is love like that – yeah, and that kiss.

And, of course, this (yeah, yeah, I know, not an actual kiss, just life-saving measures… but ROC sure got into it pretty good):

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Looking Backwards: Xena… again.

You may have noticed by now that a) I am a sentimental fool and b) I don’t care who knows it. Well, the mood struck me again and I am now watching Xena’s third season which is also – despite season six – my favorite. And I am once again finding out why that is…

And yes, The Debt is still my favorite two-parter. Strangely enough, I cannot feel quite as warmly towards the The DelivererGabrielle’s Hope-desaster. I mean, and I didn’t know before: these two episodes simply suck. It is no wonder I could not remember much of these while reminiscing – I do that quite a lot, sentimental fools do.

And next I watched The Debt and I was so enthralled and  so happy… This is excellent tv, people. Actually, it is the best. They don’t do that anymore, they are not that daring, that brutal, that chokingly honest. And I could be wrong but I think, The Debt is the first time Gabrielle drops the three magic words into Xena’s lap… ohhhh, that is so cute!

I think The Debt filled a certain gap even in the story of Xena and Gabrielle where Xena told a story to her friend, where Gabrielle felt she had to safe her friend. It was role-reversal and then there were the flashbacks of Xena being seduced by ultimate goodness (does anyone else read the flying scene as sex scene between Xena and Lao Ma?). The story moved me back then, it still does…

There were other highlights following The Debt but they seem to be in the same realm of sexy, and mischievious, and xenite pleasure. I mean, Gina Torres abs in The King of Assassins (whatever else you might think of the episode, having two Joxers and all… and tooooooo little Xena and Gabby once again delivered as hapless little blond – and she’s actually getting blonder as the season progresses, isn’t she?), for example. Man!

Okay, the picture has not the best resolution but I guess you still get my point. And then there was the chemistry between Cleo and Xena… oh, please ladies, get a room already (the flirting between Cleo and Auto was not quite as pleasant, you can be straight and subtle, folks…). Then came Warrior… Priestess… Tramp and having Lucy act her full scope of comedic talent was a sight, but, hell, I think Gabby had it for Leah. I mean, think about it: as gorgeous as Xena but, for a change, Gab can take care of her… well, she had her hands all over her in any case.

Okay, I think, I’ll stop now… it’s just, looking back, even with all the fanfiction I have read… these two are still there in the middle of my creativity, teasing, flashing smiles, gorgeous… yeah, I definitely stop now! And watch The Quill Is Mightier, so I might be back later and tell you about it.

Nice weekend, all!